Insomnia seems to rearing its ugly head again. I am dead tired. Spent the whole day buying some more supplies for my shoot tomorrow. Since this is going to be somewhat professional, I went to the mall to pick up some make up from MAC. The nearest mall that sells MAC is back in Texas (okay so they do have a place that sells MAC in Louisiana but seeing as how I wanted to do some shopping I might as well drive the extra 40 minutes and be satisfied). I was still tired from not sleeping yesterday, so the hour and 40 minute drive (each way) was daunting.

My friend Christina invited her self to go with me, which kinda pissed me off. Lately, I have enjoyed going shopping by myself. No particular reason except for that I can take my time and nobody is looking over my shoulder trying to see what I am buying and how much it costs. If I go shopping with a buddy, its usually one of my best gals. Christina is not one of my best gals.

I was annoyed all day with her remarks. "You are gonna pay $100 for jeans", "Maybe I'll get that shirt too", " Can I borrow that purse".
There needs to be rules for shopping, I swear.

Then we get to MAC and she wants to know why I didn't ask her to be in the shoot. I told her because I thought she was going home this weekend. Really, its because I don't think I could stand to be around her that long. She is a good person, just annoying.

I got all my makeup and stuff. I didn't have to buy much at MAC today. Some foundations, powders, and lipglasses (plus some new eye shadows for me). Stopped in Target to get some more brushes because they are way cheaper than MAC but work just as well. I came back and packed up all the stuff I need for tomorrow (actually today) even though we probably aren't going to start shooting until about 3pm. Combined with the stuff I already had, I have about a rolling suitcase full of makeup. I HAVE SO MUCH MAKEUP ITS RIDICULOUS. Especially since most of it is eyeshadows and lipglosses. I love it though. Can't help it.

Steve is shooting 8 girls. I had only planned to do some beauty close ups, but he wants to shoot some outdoors. This kind of changed what I had planned for make up but it will be good practice. 8 girls, beauty close ups, outdoors, and extreme far out looks ..... long day!!! Good thing, I found someone else to do hair for me.

At about 10:00 Mr. A&F (aka Chris) texted me again. Wanted to see what was up. I didn't even text him back.

What the fuck? A text message is not a substitute for a conversation. Usually when I text someone, its because I don't want to talk to them. This is unless its late at night. 10:00 is not late. So I figure that he is testing the waters with me or something. I refuse to answer his text messages. If he wants to talk he needs to call me.

But than again he's probably to cool to talk. Or either has some other chick around where he can't talk. Who knows? I could care less. But I refuse to dignify a text message with a response, especially from (as Mr. Big it) Pimpercrombie & Bitch.

Gonna try to catch some ZZZ'S
I'll let you know how tomorrow turns out.

~Mr. Big's Blog Bitch (formerly known as Jen)

I'm not sure if I even spelled it right. I am so tired of not sleeping ... think I need help. Its to the point that even if I take some Tylenol Pm or something I still can't sleep. All I take are these cat naps during the day for about an hour or so. I want to sleep at night though ... like a normal person. Then again what about me is actually normal.

Well since I'm up I might as well tell you guys what I did today or actually yesterday.

Last night I went to a party. An actual college party. This is a rarity for me. Yes I go out, but I usually refrain from the parties held around campus. They are usually boring, have watered down drinks, lame music, and most importantly get broken up by the time you get there. Typically, I usually like to hang out with my buddies.

So tonight, my good buddy Anna decides that we should go to this party. I was bored and it was in walking distance, so why not. We got all jazzed up and went to the party. It seemed lame, as I thought it would be. Talked to a few people that I recognized from class and everything was pretty chill (except for the fact that I had to fend off drunk frat boys).

So me and Anna are sitting on the back of this guy Scott's truck, you know just resting our feet and enjoying our watered down drinks. There were a lot of cars parked in this make shift parking lot .. so the way we were sitting we could see the whole lot. Mind you that we were still fairly close to the party. If you came in this particular lot and went to the party during the 10 minutes that we sat there, we saw you.

So guess who I see? Mr. Abercrombie & Fitch aka Chris. He looked startled when I saw him .. like he wasn't expecting to see me. He was kinda sweaty and red faced. He stopped and spoke. I already knew what was up. Shortly, and I do mean shortly afterward, sweaty faced blonde headed girl appears. "Yeah Jen, this is Amber"

So what? I thought back seat hook ups were reserved for high school kids. Anywhoo, me and Anna stayed for about another hour and then we left. So I get this text message from Chris and he wants to know if I'm mad.

I'm not mad ( and I tell him this). Why would I be mad? He's not my boyfriend and up until this point he hasn't even called me. I just consider him as some guy I see around campus. And to him I'm sure I'm just some chick he met in the library. He texts me again to say that Amber isn't his girlfriend. So what. Am I owed an explanation? I don't want one. Then he texts me again to ask if I want to go out Saturday. I told him I'm busy (which you guys know that I am), but even if I wasn't I'm not sure I would go. He's just too pretty. Even post hook up ... he is still Mr. Abercrombie & Fitch. I bet he even has a cute orgasm face, it probably some cute little grin not that contorted face I usually see. I digress .....

The way I see it, either 1 or 2 things is true:
1.) Amber is his girlfriend and he is lying
OR
2.) Amber is just some girl he randomly hooked up with at a party (which in my book is gross)

Either way things don't look right to me ....

But in good news, he finally saw me all done up instead of looking like a rag doll!! Wonder if that changes things. He hasn't called before. Now tonight I get three text messages. Who knows?

Guess I'll do some homework. I wish they had people you could pay to do all your homework and take tests for you. Multi billion dollar industry I promise.

TGIF ( Thank Goodness It's Friday)

~ Mr. Big's Blog Bitch (formerly known as Jen)

I have not accomplished a single thing that I set out to do today. I did manage to go to class, but other than that can't say I did much.

I watched Andy Roddick get waxed (thats my new word) in tennis and then I went to sleep. Its 9:30 and I just got up. But back to Roddick news, not that I'm a tennis expert, he seems to be lacking confidence in his game. If he could have taken that 2nd set instead of going to a tiebreak he would have won the match. It almost looks as if he gave up in the 3rd set. Highlight of the game for me, besides the visuals, was Roddick screaming "fuck you" to the ref. Classic frustration.

Today I found out that one of my friends is pregnant. I'm so jealous. I used to think that I would be one of those girls who would have it all. Great job, car, house , husband, 2.5 kids. I have nothing, but great clothes, shoes, and handbags. While I'm sitting here all by my lonesome my friends are getting married and having kids.

But I do have my faithful few. My buddies that are still single and like myself see no hope in the future. You can tell too, because we all look alike. Highlighted, flawless makeup, well dressed, accesorized, like some recreation of a magazine. Us lonely bitches. I often wonder how much of that is really us? I like to look good, but in the last couple of years it has become almost an obsession. I shop so much it is unbelievable. It is almost like a high to be able to get that next new thing whatever it is... jeans, shoes, handbags, etc.

Or are these things just compensation for something we lack? We lack stable relationships with men, so we get new shoes. We lack clear career goals, so we get new jeans. As much as this is my own bullshit theory I think there is some truth in it, at least for myself there is. Nothing beats temporary happiness with a pricetag.

Maybe I watch too much TV?
Maybe I need to get laid?

Even before I broke up with my ex, this problem started to creep in. Lately, I've been feeling that being me isn't enough. I've got have something extra (hence the all the materialistic stuff), but in the end even I know all that shit doesn't matter. Sometimes I get sick of having to be the independent woman ... but when your alone what choice do you have?

Okay thats enough

~ Mr. Big's Blog Bitch (formerly known as Jen)

Days without sex: 223

Oh,yes my favorite time of year has rolled around.

IT'S MARCH MADNESS BITCHES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I live for March Madness. I can't wait to go get my bracket tomorrow. Usually my guy friends and I wage war on each other, trying to pick the upsets and basically talking much shit to each other. As much as I want to do my makeup thing this weekend, I hate that I will have to miss a few games. I'll probably tape them. I can't stand to miss a game. Once I get my bracket tomorrow, I let you know what my preliminary predictions are.

Saturday hasn't come and already I'm getting people flaking out on me. The girl who was going to do hair for me has canceled on me. So now I have to do all the hair and makeup. I suck at hair. I'll probably have to just pull the hair back, but that changes the ideas that I was going to do for makeup. I really wanted to do these dramatic looks, but now I'll probably have to go with most of them simpler and a few way out looks. Atleast its just Tuesday, so I have time to prepare. Wish me luck.

Recently, I've come to realize that I need to walk around with a pocket dictionary. Honestly, there are so many words that I don't know. For instance I was reading, and I came across this word inadmissible. What? Then I started coming across words that I should know the meanings of: deter, purport,undifferentiated, oblivious. Its not so much as I didn't know the meanings, but in the contexts in which they were used they meant something totally different. Goal for tomorrow: GET A POCKET DICTIONARY so I don't feel like a complete dunce.

I saw that guy Chris today when I was going to the gym. I was going in and he was leaving. He's kinda really good looking. Like too pretty. Too perfect. Too Abercrombie & Fitch model. Too sexy. I don't really have a type, but he may be too hot for me. Not to mention it that it has been to days in a row that he has seen me looking less than my best (ponytail, no makeup, luckily my shorts and tank top matched). I'd still lick his teeth though. One thing is for sure though, I can't see Chris again looking a mess.

Happy Hump Day to all

~Mr. Big's Blog Bitch (formerly known as Jen)

Days without sex: 222

I've got a laundry list of things to do this week.

My professor totally shitted on us and so I have this group project due Friday. The great thing is that he just assigned it today. The most unfair thing is that I'm in group numero uno so we have to go Friday, but the next group won't go until next Wednesday.

I've got to get together a writing sample for this internship I'm applying for with the local paper. Its for a beauty and style tips section that they put in the paper once a month; its kinda like a magazine. I have no idea what to write. Got any ideas?

I've got to get ready for this weekend. My good friend Steven has offered to help me start my portfolio for my makeup arts. My friends are letting me make them up and Steve is a photography and visual arts major. The big bonus is that Steve's dad has a photography studio, so I can get all that great lighting, plus I don't have to pay. Steve needs the practice and so do I. I'm glad we can both get something out of it. The only thing I'll be out of is money for pizza.

Today I met this cute guy in the library. I was working and then he came up to me and asked me to proofread his English paper. Normally. I get annoyed with this kind of thing, but since my class was canceled I felt generous and helped him.

While proofreading the paper with Chris (aka the cute guy) I noticed that he had the most perfect straight white teeth I had ever seen. I just wanted to lick them, they were so sexy. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that I must be crazy ... I want to lick this guys teeth.

Besides the fact that I was looking a mess today ( I had on no makeup, my hair was in a ponytail, but I did manage to pull something cute out of the closet ... in my defense it was raining) Chris did ask me phone my phone number. Of course, I gave it to him. Who knows if he will call, you know how guys are.

I'm obsessing. Please forgive me. I'm only obsesing though because I gotta get laid. I normally don't obsess.

I saw Brad today. It wasn't weird though. I've just decided to put him in the friend file. We'd probably be better as friends.

I've gotta get back to work.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

~Jen

PS) Sixteen Candles is coming on in a few. Yea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every girl needs a Jake Ryan